I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh god it's open bar.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
