Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
