It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
