If i come over, it means nothing
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
