eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
