I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
