guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize