ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
