He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
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i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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