This girl is more easily done than said...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
