It's Friday. Sex?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
