don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
