Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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