The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
