how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have already put on my inside pants.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
