don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize