Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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