Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
