This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is the high leading the old right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
