flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize