I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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