Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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