is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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