Screwed.edu
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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