I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
