I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
