Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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