You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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