Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
