Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
