Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize