Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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