why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
