i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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