You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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