How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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