ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize