CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
