she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
