we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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