he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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