I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
