bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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