I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize