I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
