Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
