i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
