turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
