Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
