You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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