The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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