his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
