Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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