Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
