so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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