He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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