That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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