Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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